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Average Customer Review:
( 185 customer reviews )
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
119 of 123 found the following review helpful:
The flavours are not lies!Dec 11, 2011
These beans are a wonderful thing. The good flavors, you can eat, and they are totally fantastic. The terrible flavors, you can belittle the manhood of your friends with. The in-between flavors? Like grass? They're largely there to confuse you, and do so wonderfully.
To sum up my experience with them, an anecdote:
Driving along one summer, eating said beans, my two friends convince me to eat the Booger flavoured one. "Okay," I begin "but only if you get a good flavored one ready to get the taste out of my mouth."
My first friend passes me the booger-bean, and gets a grape-bean ready on deck. The booger bean was mostly flavourless... until the saliva hit my tongue! Retching, I spat out the window, and demanded the grape bean. Blargh! The dark colour tricked them! It was dirt! Spitting again, I demanded another bean. They produced another dark coloured one, this one seeming noticeably more purple in the light. Noooo! It was more dirt!
Pulling over, and spitting out the bean, they presented me with a white one. "Alright," they said "This can only be popcorn, or marshmallow."
Seeing no bad option, I took the bean and chewed it gratefully. Then I vomited in my mouth.
It was neither popcorn, nor marshmallow. It was rotten egg!
Suffice to say, that these are not the kind of jelly bean you buy, thinking that every one of them will be wonderful. The rotten egg, dirt, soap, and vomit beans all taste exactly what they are supposed to. And that is what makes them a fantastic product.
72 of 79 found the following review helpful:
Fantastic.Jul 19, 2011
Exactly how I always pictured Bertie Bott's beans would be. I have the generation before these and they've been spot on since movie 1 (GOD, the HORSERADISH flavor was AWFUL. UGH.). The generation before these has a single flavor that literally made me retch. The fish flavored jelly beans are SO AWFUL that you will gag.
These, on the other hand, only have a few really awful ones. Avoid vomit if you can, because that's probably what you'll be doing next.
whoever makes these is awesome.
37 of 41 found the following review helpful:
Fantastically disgustingDec 27, 2011
These things actually taste like they are described. My girl was so fascinated at the idea of being able to eat candy like Harry Potter ate that she tried the vomit, earwax and soap flavors and giggled her way through every disgusting moment of the assault on her poor little taste buds. She LOVED them. But I guess you need to be a true Potterhead to really appreciate the things. Ugh!!
12 of 13 found the following review helpful:
Most of the "weird" flavors are in the "tolerable" category for me.Apr 18, 2013
NOTE: This review was originally written in 2006, for a now-defunct version of the product. I've just copied and pasted my old review and will edit accordingly. I recently bought a new box in April 2013 and there were a few changes to the flavors reflected below.
So, I finally did it. I finally worked up enough courage while at Sweet Factory to buy a 1.6 oz box of Bertie Bott's beans. I didn't do any of this "test nibbling" that most people seem to do; when confronted with a "weird" flavor I just popped the whole bean in my mouth and chewed. Some of them (especially the grass-flavored one) were not too bad. Here's a rundown of the weird flavors (I'm not reviewing the normal flavors, because who doesn't know what green apple tastes like?):
Bacon (NO LONGER AVAILABLE): This tastes less like actual bacon and more like a candy that's trying to taste like bacon, which I guess is the point. If you've ever smelled a Beggin Strip dog snack, it smells kinda like that when you bite into it. Very smoky, strong flavor.
Black Pepper: The first "weird" flavor that I got, and unlike most people, I actually liked this, despite the fact that I never put pepper on anything. Very pungent and spicy.
Booger: This one is hard to describe, but it's kind of salty.
Dirt: You can smell the dirtness (is that a word?) when you bite into it. Surprisingly not too bad. Very mild. Tastes a lot like how potting soil smells.
Earthworm: Perhaps people who have been contestants on Fear Factor might know what earthworms taste like, but as I am not one of those people, I don't. However, this one tastes kind of like the dirt-flavored one, only there's an underlying smell/taste that I can't describe. (2013 NOTE: In the box I got in 2013, the earthworm tasted similar to the booger flavor.)
Earwax: Speaking as someone who has inadvertently tasted earwax in her youth, I can honestly say that thankfully, this does not actually taste anything like earwax. Real earwax is very bitter (once you happen to taste it, you never forget it!) and this bean is strong, but rather fruity-flavored. I want to say that it tastes like a really, really strong green tea, with some other spice that seems very familiar to me but that I can't place. (2013 NOTE: Not sure if they changed the earwax flavor or if I can just pinpoint what it tastes like now, but I realised it tastes a lot like chai tea, actually. I'm quite fond of this flavor. I know, I'm weird.)
Grass: Okay, seriously, I could eat a whole bag of these. IMHO, they're the best of the "weird" flavors. It smells like a fresh-mown lawn when you bite it and it tastes sweet, mild and rather floral.
Rotten Egg: 2013 NOTE: Originally these were sort of off-white with little green speckles on them. Now they're yellowish-white, like the buttered-popcorn flavor. These ones are HORRIBLE. They smell like old, pungent cheese when broken and taste like sadness, despair, and old gym socks.
Sardine (NO LONGER AVAILABLE): This is the worst flavor IMHO. I hate fish to begin with, and if you bite into it the smell just punches you in the nose. Apparently, according to the ingredients label, they use real fish (cod, though).
Sausage (NEW FLAVOR): I put this between "tolerable" and "gross". It's weird, but I can eat it without gagging or spitting it out. This does taste like (breakfast?) sausage, but mostly like sausage that's had a bunch of sugar added to the meat before grinding it up.
Soap: Very mild and rather bland. You can smell the soap scent, but other than that, there's not really anything soapy-tasting about this kind. But then again, who's ever eaten soap before, except for Ralphie from "A Christmas Story"? (2013 NOTE: Dunno if they changed the soap flavor but now it tastes kind of bitter and a little lemony.)
Vomit: 2013 NOTE: I think they may have changed the look of this bean as well. I can't remember what they originally looked like, but now they're translucent orange with red spots. This is also one of the worst flavors. Most of them are in the "tolerable" category but this (and the rotten egg flavor) is in the OH GOD WHY ARE THESE EVEN FLAVORS category. I've heard this was supposed to be a pepperoni pizza flavor that failed and they added more acidic flavor to it. It does taste a lot like vomit.
8 of 9 found the following review helpful:
GREAT!Jan 03, 2012
By Gardenia Gramma
Ordered these for my grandson who loves everything "Harry Potter" He had a BLAST feeding the really weird ones to his Dad.
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